This week has been monumentally busy and important.
Firstly, I was informed that my Landlord wanted to inspect my apartment so I literally had 4 days to clean up my messy apartment ,from top to toe, so that I would appear to be normal and pass his inspection. How exhausting. I spent hours upon hours, well into the night, cleaning and uncluttering, and I literally didn’t sleep at all last night, spending my supposed sleeping hours thinking about the hours I could have been cleaning…
Without any sleep at all last night, I have felt so exhausted and nauseous all day.
Secondly, as you may know, I attended my first speed dating event on Wednesday night, and the main thoughts that have stuck with me since are that 1) the American guy who is very enigmatic is a player and 2) the dreaded question from the guy who asked me how long had it been since my previous relationship, upon which I answered…. “Never….. Do I win?”
Ugh. How do I even explain to normal people who I am in a 6 minute “date”? Me vs Normal people is a never win situation. I must remember that I don’t need everyone to love me, just a couple will do.
And, thirdly, to this morning’s dentist session. It was to be the last session to finish off my monumental root canal/crown, but I informed my dentist that the problem tooth was fine but that, as I was eating almonds a few week’s prior, a completely separate and random tooth had chipped and that it required a filling.
Ugh. Another tooth broken. Due to my poor diet or poor tooth care?
I had bearly explained to my dentist what had happened to the new tooth when the wave hit. The emotions of how much a failure I was, to not look after my teeth, of how much a failure I was to never have had a relationship…
Wow. My voice didn’t crack, but the tears silently rolled down my teeth during the hospital visit.
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